i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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