Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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