Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
