i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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