he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There r osticjed everywhere
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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