I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
