i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
either way he was missing a nipple.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
