you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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