You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
