escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
