The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
and you fell through a lawn chair
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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