I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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