Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
