are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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