I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
