Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
