quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
