Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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