and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
