Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
