first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
