do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
