I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize