So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
