I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I don't think brook has ever known best
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
