Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
