If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Shame - the story of my life.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
