I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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