I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
