what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
