I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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