Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
