her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The power of my boobs compel you
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
