Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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