she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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