I looked at my own cervix.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
