forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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