More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
nutella sex= disaster
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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