i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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