We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
time to smoke my breakfast
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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