we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
