I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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