it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
