Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
