I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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