New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
only if we run a train.
done.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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