matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Randomize