he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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