bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Randomize
