dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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